Addicted to Books, Coffee, and Cigarettes

Saturday, July 23, 2005

I got flowers in the mail this week. Flowers of all types make me irrationally happy--I smile every time I look at them. In my view, flowers are one of the only perfect, totally innocent things left in the world. I've never gotten flowers sent to me before...Thanks, baby, for brightening my day.

N is coming to visit me this weekend. I am really excited--I feel like we can see each other now without all the pressure of "the future" on us. I still don't know how this is going to work out, but I am getting used to that idea.

I miss him. I can't help it.
I want his arms around me and his body heat mingling with mine.

He is thinking about moving up here, getting his own place for a while, and getting a job. I feel good about that decision--as long as it is his. It would not be healthy for us to start a new stage in our relationship with one person sacrificing all of his/her wants and desires for the other. I am thrilled about the possibility of him coming up here--as long as this is what he wants--and as long as he will be happy here, even if things between us don't work out.

He might make the move, he might not, but I know that things are going to end up the way they are meant to--and I am (finally) ok with that...

Here's to the mystery and suspense of the future,


Blogger Earl said...

I've found something I want you to have, but it isn't finished yet.


6:04 PM  
Blogger Earl said...

I'm changing my blog address, so if you want, you can change the link on your page.


8:02 PM  

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